Learning
Japanese is not learning a language, rather it is about falling in love. The
kind of love you experience at the sight of a beautiful girl on a Keio or Ginza
line. (The brimming crowd of JR lines does not let you see yourself, so
watching a girl is out of question there). So, I was talking about the love at
first sight on a metro line in Tokyo. Behold, if you keep moving your sight to
every travelling ‘Onnanohito’ and feel that your love is blossoming everywhere.
That you may justify as the loss of love in your life, rather it is loss of
character in your life. Check that!
If your love is
pristine, true and one hearted as mine then have patience. I see learning
Japanese language is about interacting with a well natured girl and her family and how far you like to go to seek your true love. By this theory, say you fell in love with a Japanese girl called Hiragana. Hiragana is
beautiful, decently curved, soft stroke, Geisha like white skin, dark eyes. Hiragana's simplicity and innocence will empower you to propose her within a month
of meeting her. With little effort you can win her heart and she will be all
yours.
So, to marry Hiragana, you must convince her family that you are the best match for her. In next move on a fine day, you go along with Hiragana to meet her mother Katakana.
Katakana due to her age and age induced phenomenon is a kind of woman you never would aspire to meet. Katakana has almost similar genes as Hiragana-with DNA structure as aa-ii-uu-ee-o. But mind you, she is blunt, not straightforward, and not easy to convince. Katakana is not easy to win over and is on a loggerhead with the gaijins. At the behest of Hiragana, her dear daughter, she will start testing you with her sharp and pointed questions. She will check how worthy or how willful you are to become part of the great Nihongo family. She will bewilder you with her kiyu, kya,kyo ,shyu, shya ,shyo and questions which fail to meet any established scientific law on earth. Then my friend, remember when the times get tough, the tough gets going. Even when Katakana seems too overbearing, all you must do is to keep your ground, hold the hands of Hiragana and remember if your Nihon love is true then it will see the light of the day. Women have delicate hearts, irrespective of their age you can always win them with your keenness and honesty. Once Katakana accepts you as part of Nihongo family, you are halfway through.
But remember, Katakana is from Japan and has her own familial bonding. As you are sitting beside your lady love-Hiragana and her mother-Katakana arrives in the scene the great grand lady of the family with whom you want to betroth to – KANJI.
Credit: Jordan Patrick Finn - kickstarter |
To warn you, Kanji is not a typical onnanohito, she is not even a language. Kanji is a SAMURAI- who out of her love for the culture appears to slay everything which is not Nihon. Kanji is a zombie version of language. The more you seek approval from her the more tormented you will feel.
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